I Aint Sayin She A Gold Digga

Its amazing to me that anyone would think I'd bang someone for cash or gifts, especially after I "act like I'm all that". They can prove it to themselves quite easily. They could make up various screen names and try to chat me up. Try to get a phone call. Try to get me to meet. However, I know why they won't. They know they'll hit the same brick wall every other maggot does.

ADHD

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ADHD. This is how it manifests.

I decided to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go throught the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only on check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye...they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I am going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that its on the kitchen table...so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs....but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels to wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day, the car isnt washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I cant find the remote, I cant find my glasses, and I dont remember what I did with the car keys.

Then I try and figure out why nothing got done today, Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my email.

Turn the computer on and the phone rings.

Go to answer the phone, chat for a bit, then say my goodbyes.

Hang the phone up and go to the Den to watch some TV, walking first past the computer not noticing that I have left it on....

So... Where IS that Remote??
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An Apple A Day... Let's Go To The Shooting Range!

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Think about this:

A. The number of physicians in the US is 700,000.
B. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000.
C. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(US Dept. of Health & Human Services)

Then think about this:
A. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000.
B. The number of accidental gun deaths per year is 1,500.
C. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner 0.0000188.

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.

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Huh Huh...You Said "Aural"

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I should start a separate blog for people who think my name "aural_fixations" means that I want to lick their wang. There's a free, online dictionary at www.merriam-webster.com.
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The trend lately with people PMing me has turned to an analyzation of my personality. This is not new. It comes about in the occasional conversation. I'm a typical Cancer and sometimes that's just hard for people to understand. What is happening during THIS trend however, is that during the course of the Q/A... the questioners are not listening to my answers. They are instead asking me questions, letting me answer, and then telling me how I really feel, or how I really am. How annoying is that?